Not The Way They Were Before
by bjames238
Summary: GilmoreGirls future RoryLogan When Logan Huntzberger left for Iraq, his wife Rory Gilmore knew nothing would ever be the same. Oh, she had no idea just how right she was.The only question is: Can she survive?
1. Three Shots

**Not the Way They Were Before**

**Chapter One: Three Shots**

_Bang!_

The crack of the first gunshot fills the air of the silent New Haven cemetery. Not a word is spoken by those in attendance. Not one word. It is a crisp, cold, day and I draw my coat tighter around me. The entire group is assembled, seated in their chairs as they observe the dreadful service. Each wears black, save for one who wears purple.

_Bang!_

Another shot goes off, causing me to jump. I had jumped at the first shot and now it seems as if the horrid shots have been going on forever.

_Bang!_

This is seemingly the last shot, which is music to my ears. The soldiers rest their rifles on their shoulders. Everyone attention shifts back toward the priest, garbed in a long, black robe. He is talking now, but I can hear him. The gunshots still ring in my eardrums, filling the air around me. I know that others around me are crying, sniffling, sobbing, and in some cases even wailing. I am silent though. Not a tears runs down my cheek, not a sound is heard from my mouth. In truth, I should be the most hysterical person in the graveyard.

So . . . why aren I?  
I am a woman and as one I am entitled to all the waterworks I please. But all I can do is stare at the coffin, totally transfixed on it that I can hear what is going on around me.

In my head, little snippets of memories of the man I lost replay in my ears. I suddenly realize that this is all I have left of him. Just moments, really, of the short life we shared together.

My husband is dead.

"Mrs. Gilmore-Huntzberger?" stirs me from my realization and I look up. A soldier is standing in front of me, holding out a triangular object. Automatically my hands shakily reach forward and grasp the object. As soon as my fingers make contact I inhale deeply and promptly hold my breath.

The breath is released when a sharp, low-pitched sob erupts from my throat. Tears instantly free fall over my face, appearing out of nowhere. The triangle in my hands is a neat, properly folded American flag and it is the last connection I have to my husband.

The soldier salutes respectfully and returns to his place in line of the other soldiers. With this, the funeral is now over.

It is finished.

Others around me rise to the graveside of Logan Huntzberger to pay their respects and say goodbye.

I can't move.

I clutch the flag closer as if it was really him and remember the way he smelled. The love the way he smelled and I never want to forget it. Ever.

**TBC**


	2. I Don't Know How To Help Her

**Chapter Two: I Don't Know How To Help Her**

"Honey, it's time to go," a hand lightly rested on her shoulder. She let out a deep

breath, "Sweetheart, it's getting dark. We have to get to the Inn soon."

Rory Gilmore-Huntzberger sat yet in the cemetery in New Haven, the triangular American flag clutched tightly to her breast. Her hair whipped in the now-chilly wind. Out in the distance the sky was purple and orange, "The sun is setting."

Lorelai Gilmore-Danes sighed sympathetically to her daughter, "Honey, we have to go. Everyone is waiting."

"Sunset was his favorite time of day. Did you know that?" Rory ignored her mother's insistence as she gazed on the beautiful setting sun, "We used to sit . . . every night . . . on the front porch, watching the sunset." Rory sniffled, "And . . . when I told him I was pregnant, we were there . . . on our porch . . . watching the sunset."

"Oh hun . . ." Lorelai's heart was breaking with every word.

Rory began breathing heavily, "He said-he said that when the baby was born w-we'd show him or her the sunset . . . every night." She heaved, trying to catch her breath again. "He s-said if we did our baby could be poetic." Despite the tears Rory chuckled.

Lorelai helped her daughter rise to her feet, "Come on, hun. Let's get you out of this cold wind." Rory robotically complied with her mother as they walked out of the cemetery and toward Lorelai's Jeep.

The drive back to Star's Hollow to the Dragonfly Inn was silent between mother and daughter. Lorelai kept her focus on the road but kept glancing over to the passengers side where Rory was. There was a constant frown on the older Gilmore's face as she saw the old Rory quickly sink deeper and deeper from the surface by the moment. She'd seen it get worse over the last two years but now . . . Rory was almost unrecognizable.

Of course, Lorelai couldn't really ever understand how Rory was feeling because she hadn't lost her husband. She'd never really lost _anybody_ like that in her life. During most of the twenty-nine years Rory had been alive, it had pretty much just been the two of them, mother and daughter. Now, though, they were both married, living a half-hour apart, with completely separate lives. Back in the day, with the exception of most of her homework, Lorelai had helped Rory with everything.

She didn't know how to help Rory with losing her husband.

She'd try her best though, being the mother she was, because she couldn't just let her daughter fall apart. She just couldn't allow that.

"Hun, do you want to stay with me and Luke for a couple more days? We wouldn't mind. And I'm sure work wouldn't mind if you took a few more days off."

The only response out of Rory was a shrug.

"Okay, it's settled. You'll stay another week in Star's Hollow," Lorelai sighed, "Rory, you should know that everyone's here for you. If you need anything, just ask. I'm sure there's not a person in all of Star's Hollow and half of Hartford who'd refuse."

Again, a shrug.

"Like Lane and Zach, Sookie and Jackson, your grandma and grandpa, Mitchum and Shira, Honour, or even Miss Patty or Babette," Lorelai said, "Plus me, of course." She turned the corner, "Anything. Just name it."

Another shrug.

Lorelai exhaled deeply. Rory had been like this ever since the two soldiers had showed up on her doorstep. Luckily, that had been a day that Lorelai was visiting, considering that Rory had pretty much gone catatonic that day.

They were now about a block from the Dragonfly, "I know you're probably not hungry but you should eat something. You need to keep your strength up."

Shrug.

Lorelai turned into the Dragonfly parking lot and parked, shutting the Jeep off. She grabbed her purse and keys and turned to her daughter, "You ready to go, kiddo?"

This time, nothing. No shrug. No acknowledgement whatsoever.

Lorelai just wished she knew how to help her daughter.

**TBC**


End file.
